I'm so glad I founded u. Vanessa Felch gave me ur email n that. Fank God coz I is well distrort.
I've resently bin told that i is infact just a 2d image CGI'ed into people's TVs for somethink called 'entertaymant' i don't buleeve this is trew n did a little cry n pooed myself. Please tell me i am real. Ur my only hope.
OMG!
Robbie W
xxx
Dear Robbie
Thank you for your letter and the beautiful pasta collage of Jason Orange (how did you know he was my favourite!)
I'm sorry to break the bad news pet but it is in fact true. You were created in 1938 by Nazi Cartoonist Jürgen Zörkler for an advertising campaign for a brand of butter called "Dicke Schweinbutter". The early drawings of you however aroused many German men and was promptly taken off the air and Jürgen Zörkler was shot.
Your drawings were left dormant until 1989 when a temp from an office in Derby accidently left them on a train. They blew their way to a boy-band audition where, after a few adaptations, succeeded as the leading band member. As modern technology spawned later versions of you have appeared as hologram and CGI.
Look on the bright side. At least you're not Gary Barlow.
Audrey x
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