I have just realised that I am a complete cunt. It seems that everyone knew it except me... you're always the last to know innit! It has come as quite a shock to me and I dunno how I can go about my normal life as obviously the knowledge that I am a complete cunt changes things.
Paul Danan
Dear Paul
Thank you for your letter (and the knitting patterns)Sorry to hear you're a complete cunt. You're obviously in shock pet so I recommend a holiday. Once you're back, hang out with bigger cunts such as Jonathan Ross, Myleene Klass and Jamie Oliver so you look less of a cunt. I will send you my leaflet 'Coping with being a Cunt' (please send a postal order for £4.99)
Audrey x
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